Lockdown, shake up, lay down

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Lockdown, shake up, lay down

This is longer than the page. On a desktop, scroll down the body of the text to read it all. 


Well what are we to do? Everything has changed. We sort of saw it coming but by golly, it got big very quickly. I’m in lockdown in London. I don’t have a specific underlying condition in addition to my impairment, making me more susceptible. By the way I prefer the word susceptible to vulnerable any day of the week. However, I am staying in. 

Simon dressed all in black with a grey face mask and blue cap and sunglasses. He looks menacing.
Going out for a bit
I had a busy diary, March through mid-July. And then in the middle of March, I saw diary appointments, conferences, training, travel, all fade away. Within a week, my diary was empty, save a stubborn, optimistic appointment in July. I did my last face to face training on 17th March in Bristol; Managing mental health at work. It already felt like we (me and co-trainer Juliette Burton) shouldn’t be there. The hotel was empty and felt weird when we arrived. Hand sanitiser on every desk, kind staff with strained smiles. Five out of the twenty delegates turned up. Next door was a conference with 175 delegates booked, Maybe thirty people came. I suggested to the trainees, a half day, outlining the salient points but they said no, we’ve made the effort so full day please. One delegate said he was getting married in June and we all wondered. I drove home and heard the Chancellor on Radio 4's PM announce a huge financial support package for the country and got emotional. I’d never heard anything like this, not in my lifetime.

With an empty diary I pondered. My business is in
good health as I’ve been busy for two years and had built a cushion. But what about my purpose, responsibility and something to do?  One of my comedian friends, Steve Day, said we should do some Abnormally Funny People comedy and get it out there. I wasn’t sure how we could plus subtitling hours of stand up is a necessary but big job. I do a monthly podcast with Phil Friend so said to him, shall we go weekly, update the news that affects disabled people, speak with interesting guests and then some topical comedy at the end. That’s what we’ve done. Steve Day was on the first show and brilliant. Five weeks in, or is it six, we have a library of fantastic shows. Phil does technical and editing, I do content, guests and promotion. What do you mean you’ve not seen it? The 40 minute final show takes up two days a week. I’m chuffed when people like Baroness Jane Campbell said ‘this is important and needed, regular listening’. When next generation Abbi Brown say ‘Thank you for doing it’ Unintended but lovely.

I've attended three board meetings, all online, (do I need to say that?) in the last month. Two for arts organisations where I am trustee and one for a business where I'm a Non-Executive Director. I’ve been shielded in that no one in my close circle has been affected, yet. I can only imagine how difficult it must be for some who have lost loved ones. It is the board meetings that have given me the greatest insight in to the impact this is having on so many people. A good position is people working from home, doing yoga, gardening or mindfulness. Common is the imbalance, with some people working more hours and others unable to work as there's no audience or those they deal with have closed their doors. Some have decided to furlough staff which is smart but has an element of uncertainty. Thankfully all three organisations are run well with robust finances and morally right leadership. The biggest question is to plotting the way forward, 12 to 18 months ahead but not knowing how this will progress. Recovery is going to take time, and for some, life will not be the same. 
To my surprise, within a month of the last training in Bristol I was doing it again on 16th April. Online now, a Disability and management course originally booked in January. The client was keen to still go ahead so I adapted it, and I warned the participants it might be different. Three hours face to face naturally shrank to just over two hours online. I learnt that if you’re asking questions, everyone nods or shakes their head, or gives a thumbs up but they don’t say anything. I was looking at the slides at the time so didn’t have a clue. If you’re training online, try and get two screens - a tablet with your slides on and your main screen to see the people. They gave me a round of applause at the end, which I think was because I threw a few extra funnies in, rather than them confusing me for a NHS or key worker.
Another client asked for some online training and I’m putting final touches to that. It’ll be to London, New York and Asia. I had a video call with the New York contact and was surprised at how routine it had become - almost an acceptance that everyone would get Covid 19 if you live or move in New York and New Jersey. Don’t get me wrong, it was awful and sad but a resignation perhaps? 

Which reminds me, a big tech company who are around the globe did one of the nicest things. Early days and as everything crashed around me, my contact in New York (a different NY person to the one above) wrote to me. She said, ‘when this has all settled down, we should look at how we can work with you, we want to support you’. Nothing may come of it, something may come of it. It was just a generous and kind thing to say in those early worrying days.  

Soon after shut down a colleague I’d met at a the fabulous Names Not Numbers conference asked me if I’d work with him on a new idea - Lockdown Theatre. He is a writer, amongst other things, and has a series of monologues he wanted actors and people to perform. He asked me to perform one called ‘Diff’. I’ve been practicing it, allowed the odd tweak to the script and I got notes from an actor colleague. I have just sent my best filmed version to him. I’ll put a link up here when (if?) it’s published. 

Clean grey carpet, a grey waster paper bin and blanket basket under a pine dressing table
Housework done
I didn’t buy in to the ‘do all those jobs you’ve promised yourself’ or the ‘learn a new language / a new skill / paint a picture whilst you now have the time'. I think we are allowed to go with this as we feel is right for us. I think getting up, washing, eating, a bit of exercise and a bit of daylight and human connection are essential. As they always are. 

However, having performed the monologue I can say I’ve done something new. I’m not an actor. The other discovery is how much I’m enjoying housework. My cleaners have done it for twenty plus years but not right now. Invariably four times a week I spend 30 mins doing something, like cleaning a bathroom (I have two!) wiping down everything in the kitchen, vacuuming (least favourite). When I’m feeling glum or blue, which happens on two days out of seven, I do a bit of cleaning and I feel better. I'm shattered afterwards, vacuuming hurts my knees and makes me hot. Don't misunderstand me, my cleaner will be back once it's allowed and she may be the first person I hug, if she allows it! But me enjoying housework, I didn’t expect that. 

 I didn’t expect a lot of this. 

Take care, wash your hands, stay safe and do speak with people.  

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